SIGNS YOU ARE NOT READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH
The preacher asks the congregation to turn to Genesis ...
and you check the table of contents to find out where it is in the Bible.
You think Abraham, Isaac and Jacob had a few hit songs during the 60's.
You open to the Gospel of Luke and a Confederate dollar falls out.
Your favorite Old Testament patriarch is Socrates.
You become frustrated because you can't find Charlton Heston in the concordance.
You think the minor prophets worked in the quarries.
You keep falling for it every time when pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.
The kids ask many questions about your last bedtime story to them:
"Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."